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following the theme by popular demand I'll start with this
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So U've been hanging out with that damn mutt too long, slammin back the grease, but haven't had a HARD time doing anything for a while...and then she comes a walkin by...all your problems are solved now thanx to love in a bottle cahoon
on
Ya you know who to thank Me Kahoona I'm 25 years old, from Canada.
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ALTERNATIVE MUSIC IS DEAD, OK!?
by jesus h christ , 12/4/98
Yes Alternative music is indeed DEAD . yeah sure i had a hard time convincing my
deciples of that too. They said look Lord that band 3rd i blind, foo fighters etc etc is
alternative. But I insisted it isn't so, i smited judas for his ignorance. I then told them
that if its so alternative why is it on the radio, because its just bad pop music and if
it were alternative wouldn't you have to hunt it down and not find at your local mall
or wal mart. that it being alterntive wouldn't you find the said band in a grimy bar
or its record in an indie music store. then they say oh lord i did not know and i blessed
them all. so dear Canadians don't waste too much time on alterntive music because there is many
other bands out there that desereve your attention and money too. and i forgive you one and all.
why not check out the link below to get your own 20MB of free webspace? www.fortunecity.com
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Watch your Ass he bites.....Just a bit about myself and a little interview
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My interests:- Comedy
- Health/Fitness
- Sports: American Football
- Sports: Athletics
- Sports: Baseball
- Sports: Basketball
- Sports: Breasts
- Sports: Golf
- Sports: Ice Hockey
- Sports: Mountain Biking
- Sports: Sex/Water Sports
- Sports: Skateboarding, Rollerblading
- I think you get it
- Sex
Bob Yankee 'takes off' in an up close, and personal
interview with a hoser named KaHoOnA.
Why did you make this stupid page?
Kahoona: I wanted to make a mockery out of personal
homepages for my own amusement. They should be called
vanity-trash pages. I'm doing a great job so far aren't I?
Definitely! It really sucks! Good job.
Why do you call yourself Kahoona?
Kahoona: I live in Canada. EH! Winter is my favorite
season and I play a lot of winter sports. Do you want me to
tell you all of the Inuit names for snow?
Uhhh... no, that's okay thanks.
Do you live in an igloo?
Kahoona: Well, yeah! All Canadians do! If you really
want to talk abOOt it, I'll tell you what you are missing!
Is it true that Canada is a giant campground?
Kahoona: Most people immediately notice the sheet of ice
upon crossing the Canadian border from the states. If you
want to live here, you need to know how to drink beer, set
up a tent and get sloshed. Get used to the terms, Two Four
(case of beer), and sixty pounder (large bottle of screech).
The best time to camp is when the weather is mild...like say
32 degrees celsius below zero. That's just me though.
What does it take to be a rugged Canadian like yourself?
Kahoona: At the end of every sentence, you must say "eh",
and spell words like 'color', 'labor' and 'honor' with a 'u' just
to irritate Americans. You must like hockey (and be willing
to shave your head to get drafted). HumoUr is imporant too.
- I'll show you what I mean.
Did you hear about the guy with a map of Canada tattoed on
his ass?
No.
Every time he sits down, Quebec separates.
(sigh)
So this polar bear walks into the bar and says to the eskimo
beside him...----
Oh look at the time!
How do you normally dress?
Lumber-jack shirts and toques..(sounds like 'kooks') are to
be worn at all times. I never leave the hOOse without them.
Once in a while, I'll wear a hockey jersey. My prom was a
real treat! I felt so sexy in that flannel Tux!
I bet!
Could you please teach us how to say something in
Canadian?
Kahoona: Sure! Imagine yourself just coming out of the
brewery on your way to pick up some Canadian back bacon.
You see your cousin carrying his keg to his canoe. In a case
like this, you would say, "Bub! Hey HOSER! Can I give
you a hand with that brew eh???" This one is quite
common. I can't stress how important the tone of your voice
is when you are saying "eh".
Eh= what did you say?
Eh?= what do you think
EH?= something to say just to end a sentence
Eh!!= WOW!!
EH!?= what do you mean?
Eh??= your joking!!!??
EH!!= Hello..you off in the distance!!!
Eh?= want a donut?
Eh!= sure!!
Eh!Eh!= coffee double cream too please!
Eh?= what you say when you realize you have no
money to pay for it
Eh..cmon eh?= asking them to let you pay for it
next time.
hey..eh!= want to go to the drive in movie??
Eh...uhuh= yes sure!
Eh..y'know= Ill pick you up at 8
Eh..cmon!!= well thats early..but ok
Eh..wanna?eh?= lets fool around
EHHHHHHH= sounds coming from the car
hey..um..er eh...= Im pregnant
EH?????????= how did that happen?
EHHehhEHHehhEHHH= sounds from the delivery room
EHHH ehh EHHH ehh= babys first cry
Ehh..whadya think eh?= marry me
other usefel terms:
hoser= a good friend..
take off!= you are kidding, no way, fly an airplane
Can you give us any tips on working around the house?
Kahoona: Well yeah eh! Two words: "DUCT TAPE"! It
works on everything. Even if something isn't broken, get out
the duct tape! Make a day of it and build something around
the hOOse.
Well, I gotta hit the lumber mill eh...
Thanks so much for your time today.
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| Favourite Links
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Dumb Laws
here are a few of them that make us wonder how we managed to evolve at all...among them: In Toronto, you can't drag a dead horse down Younge St. on a Sunday...don't forget State law in Utah says that, its illegal not to drink milk
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Strange but True
Over 2500 left handed people a year are killed from using right handed products
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